I don't think in general men are afraid to commit, but I do think they have learned to have a healthy fear of marriage because of the nightmare divorce stories which happen to be more real than people think... I tell all of my friends that it is fine to get married but don't sign a marriage contract with the state...
_______________________________ William R. Moss III | President & CEO | HBCU CONNECT, LLC750 Cross Pointe Rd, Suite Q | Columbus, OH 43230 877.864.4446 (office) | www.hbcuconnect.com ponk!"Figure out what it is you want, and act accordingly..."
I don't think in general men are afraid to commit, but I do think they have learned to have a healthy fear of marriage because of the nightmare divorce stories which happen to be more real than people think... I tell all of my friends that it is fine to get married but don't sign a marriage contract with the state...
"Sign a contract with the state". That statement makes marriage seem like a death sentence! Whether real or imagined I am not so sure that I understand those fears from a male perspective. It is rather obvious that men and women view the institution of marriage differently. Our thinking just comes from opposite realms. With that being said I can understand the fear if you base your decision on imploding divorce rates. I am always asking people (when I hear the fear factor) if men choose their potential mates based on background, interest,commonality, and equality of education not visual appeal then why aren't these marriages lasting. Or from your perspective "what are men looking for in a mate and what do they based their criteria on". I think that if we can get to the bottom of that then maybe we can ease or eliminate some of these (imagined) fears.
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Actually the fear has less to do with the woman and more to do with what happens in a divorce. What people don't realize is that actually Holy Matrimony does not equal a state marriage license. I am 100% against the state having anything to do with holy matrimony and the decision of two people to come together or break up. This is what I think most men are and should be afraid of. The marriage license, not the commitment for better or worse.
_______________________________ William R. Moss III | President & CEO | HBCU CONNECT, LLC750 Cross Pointe Rd, Suite Q | Columbus, OH 43230 877.864.4446 (office) | www.hbcuconnect.com ponk!"Figure out what it is you want, and act accordingly..."
I have often wondered why some men feel it's OK to live with women but not feel obligated to marry them. Is it because we( black women) permit this and do not make demands on them for fear of driving them off? Are sons seeing their fathers married to their mothers? I think that the answer to this particular question is multi-faceted. I believe there are social and economic reasons as well as internal reasons why most men don't marry I don't think fear comes into play at all here!
